Time for renewing my resolve

To borrow from Lewis Carroll's "The Walrus and the Carpenter," the time has come.

(Do you remember the poem, recited by Tweedledee and Tweedledum?  This is the one stanza that always sticks in my mind...)

"The time has come," the Walrus said,

"To talk of many things: 

Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax-- 

Of cabbages--and kings-- 

And why the sea is boiling hot-- 

And whether pigs have wings." 

Because we measure time the way we do, we are preparing to greet a new year at midnight.  And with the new year comes a fresh, new start, at least to our way of thinking.

For some reason, each year we choose this particular point in time and grant it the power to change us.   There's nothing magical about this spot on the calendar - a resolution can be made at any time, and should be made sooner than later when we see something in ourselves that could stand to be improved upon.

But most of us will resolve - either today or tomorrow - to stop some bad habits and/or develop new, better habits.

Gotta love Calvin and Hobbes...

Calvin's view of himself aside, most of us long to improve some area of our life - usually to become healthier and happier in some meaningful, tangible way. But the statistics are discouraging:  the vast majority of resolutions made each year are doomed to fail - my past resolutions are certainly part of the disappointing majority.

Even the word "resolution" has some interesting and paradoxical meanings:  on one hand, it is the quality of being resolute or firm,  on the other it is the act of dissolving or separating something into its basic parts.  At its root is the Latin word resolvere, meaning to dissolve. So which will it be:  will my resolutions remain firm and determined, or will they dissolve like salt in a glass of water? 

Last year, I had the bright and novel idea (don't snicker) of making monthly resolutions instead of annual ones.  I didn't put it into practice - the months slipped by, and my good intentions sailed on the wind just like my past annual resolutions.

Suddenly, here I am again, at the threshold of another new year, fresh and bright with all its potential and promise.

My personal commitments for 2012 are much like those of past years - they represent areas of my life where I want to grow and mature.  "They" (those wise, anonymous people) say you shouldn't make more than  one large or three small resolutions.  I say I have five fingers on one hand - surely I can remember - and work on - that many goals, so here are my 2012 resolutions:

1. Make time each day to cultivate a deeper prayer life (a new prayer journal is due)
2. Read the Bible through this year - no ifs, ands or buts.
3. Exercise at least 4 days a week and drop the last 15 pounds I want to lose.
4. Get my desk re-organized - and maintain it throughout the year.
5. Cultivate the fruit of the spirit in my life:  more love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

That last one is less concrete and measurable, but my plan is to share each month a recap of my struggles and successes in these areas here with you, and I hope you'll encourage me with your comments and input. What are you committed to changing this year?

I hope that each of us will take a few moments to ponder our progress over the past year and make a solemn promise to ourselves - even if it is basic, simple and small - to become better in some way in 2012.  Let's be resolute and committed, so we can achieve our goals, however lofty or small.  And if/when we find ourselves standing at the brink of 2013, we can look back on this year and see where we made some positive strides. 

Happy new year,
 

Day of rest, week 8: no treats

Another Sunday has passed.  We witnessed the latest UT loss in Knoxville on Saturday (yeah, we're a little bitter.)  Since it was a late game, we spent the night before driving home Sunday morning and dropping off a nephew and his friend on the way.  When we arrived back home, I broke out an old-but-favorite tomato-basil cream soup recipe, and grilled some cheese sandwiches for our dinner. So it was a mostly non-consumer day; hotel breakfast notwithstanding.

Today is my least-favorite holiday.  Last year, I gave an explanation as to why I don't do Halloween anymore.  And I realize that makes me a bit of an oddity among my friends. (But so does my Sunday-day-of-rest thing, so I'm 2 for 2!)

In case you wondered, I can say I have never been afraid of poisoned candy or finding razor blades or needles in the treats. Nor have I ever been concerned that I or my children would be abducted by a satanic cult or opportunistic creep, even though we approached our share of strangers' doors on a dark night.

As a non-Catholic, I just can't celebrate Halloween as "All Hallow's Eve."  If I don't celebrate All Saints Day, it would be disingenuous to claim to celebrate its eve.

So why do I avoid this holiday?  In a nutshell, I'm a Christian, and it seems that modern society is quickly growing intolerant of Christians; I guess this is my proverbial line in the sand.  While I don't expect non-believers to adopt my beliefs, I hope they will reciprocate my tolerance and  understanding if I refuse to buy into a day that celebrates a combination of paganism, hedonism, gothic and the occult.

While I know everyone won't jump on this bandwagon with me, I hope that more will begin to open their eyes and realize there's probably a connection between the downplaying and marginalizing of Christian holidays and practices, with the swift rise in the commercial popularity of this one. 

Mr. Official asked me f I thought we'd have many trick-or-treaters.  Since we now live on a quiet country road, I'm hoping our unlit porch light won't disappoint too many out looking for some treats.  For those of you who participate in the festivities tonight, may you have a safe and happy evening. And I hope I've given you some substantive food for thought to go with all that candy.

Marty Feldman, Gene Wilder and Terri Garr in "Young Frankenstein"

If you drop by our house, be prepared to hang out a while - you'll undoubtedly get drawn into watching Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein" with us.  It is my one concession (aside from my beloved Charlie Brown images) to the day, with its goofy, campy send-off on the classic "horror" flicks of decades past.

Happy Monday,

Picking our battles

This week we celebrate Veteran's Day.   God bless our veterans and servicemen and women around the world; they carry the battle scars of conflicts fought to keep our freedom intact.  When I think of our veterans, I often think of Joshua's bravery.  And his carefully chosen words recorded in Joshua 24:15 contain so much wisdom and commitment to our purpose here on earth:

"Choose this day whom you will serve...as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." 

When faced with a choice, Joshua picked his battle carefully and took a brave position, one that I'm sure he found was not always popular with the home crowd.  Not much has changed since his time in that regard.

Most parents today are very familiar with the concept embodied in that verse.  We use the shorthand expression, "pick your battles" to sum it up.  From the time our toddlers begin asserting themselves (a favorite first word is "no"), we are forced to learn diplomacy at lightning speed.  How to finesse a balky child into an outfit they don't want to wear, eat something they don't like, go somewhere peacefully when they really want a nap, or to be calmly held by someone they don't know.  They are learning the art of compromise - and so are mom and dad.

Soon we learn that stripes and plaids and camouflage prints really can be worn together and that the occasional cookie for breakfast won't kill them, especially if they wash it down with some milk.  In return, they learn they can still smile and keep going even when they're tired, and that their Bible class teacher is fun and friendly, not a frightening stranger.

I heard someone add this caveat:  "When you have picked a battle (with your child) , win at all costs."   I tend to agree, although I think that "all-or-nothing" should be tempered with some reasonableness.  If we pick a battle in error, it is okay to show our children that we can be humble and admit we were wrong - very different than simply giving up and giving in.

Unfortunately, I think our society has taken the "pick your battle" idea to the passive, permissive extreme, giving the child free rein because parents are afraid to pick ANY battle.  By sidestepping every conflict, we fail to teach our children that a peaceful and happy life is bound to require them to make some compromises along the way, too.

To all parents everywhere, please pick your battles wisely.  But do pick some battles, stand your ground, and be prepared to fight until you win.  Caving to your child's every whim and whimper is not compromise, it is captivity.  And we shouldn't be negotiating with terrorists - especially not our own kids.

Happy parenting,

Sorry, no tricks or treats here

Disclaimer:  you may disagree with this blogpost, but please don't roll my yard or egg my house, okay?

Let me start by saying that I truly wish everyone a safe weekend of fun - I do.  But having said that, I have spent considerable time over the last few years researching the history and lore surrounding Halloween, and contemplating where my faith and I stand on this holiday.

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

From early childhood, my take on Halloween was always summed up perfectly by Charles Schultz' classic story; it was an innocent children's celebration, full of nothing more than candy and pumpkins and adorable kids in cute makeshift (and sometimes even clever) costumes.

As a young mom, I sewed and purchased get-ups for my own children: they were dinosaurs, pea-in-a-pod, pumpkin, raccoon, M&M, Hershey's Kiss, Minnie Mouse, Winnie-the-Pooh, Mulan, Dorothy, and a few others I've probably forgotten.  I carried and walked my trick-or-treaters to neighboring houses to carry on the tradition of my own childhood.  Mr. Official sometimes dressed up - in his striped uniform, of course - and escorted them while I handed out candy to our visitors.

But a few years ago, I began to look at Halloween differently.  For starters, the latent accountant in me gasped at the staggering amount of money and effort that Americans expend on this holiday - the estimate is just shy of $6 billion for this year  - up a billion from last year!  (Guess that dispels the rumors of a recession going on.)   Driving down a typical middle income subdivision street on Halloween evenings, I have seen incredibly elaborate "graveyards" and "haunted mansions" interspersed with countless gaudy inflatable glowing cats, skeletons, ghosts, and other spooky characters.  Every year, the bar inches higher as neighbors try to outdo each other.

Given the part of the country I live in, it's a safe bet that most of those homeowners consider themselves devout Christians.  And my guess is that most of them have probably never stepped back to consider the historical (Catholic or Celtic - take your pick) or modern (pagan, occult or just plain sleazy) underpinnings of Halloween.  A peek into any costume aisle will quickly remind you that the emphasis is on scary, gory and risque.  A few cute and goofy costumes are still sold, but they are not among the most popular.

As Christians, we are supposed to be...well...peculiar.  Yes, peculiar, as in noticeably different. Called out of darkness into the light.  It's not about being different for the sake of being different, it's about discerning right from wrong, good from evil. It's about making conscious choices based on what we know we are supposed to do.  Doing the hard things, even when everyone else is doing the fun stuff.

To parents who are concerned that their child will "miss out" if they don't let them participate in Halloween, I suggest this is a perfect teachable moment - one not to be missed.  (Whether you do it consciously or not, you ARE teaching them something by your choice.  If you teach them to go with the flow and mindlessly follow the crowd when they are young children, how can you expect them to suddenly transform into a think-for-yourself kind of teenager in the face of fierce and relentless peer pressure?)

Every child inevitably raises the protest, "but everyone ELSE gets to [fill in the blank]."  Once upon a time, parents inevitably gave the standard reply: "If all the kids were jumping off a bridge, would you?"  Now it seems parents not only encourage their children to jump, some parents are willing to push them off the bridge, because they are afraid their child will miss out on what everyone else is doing.  (Say it with me, "Parenting is not for sissies.  Parents must be leaders.  And leaders must stand alone, in the gap, and make the hard calls.")

It's not easy, but as Christians we are not to be conformed to this world, nor are we to yoke ourselves with unbelievers.  It's a rhetorical question, but ask yourself what Paul asked the Corinthians: "What fellowship can light have with darkness?"  More pointed still was Paul's caution in his first letter to them; that we cannot partake of the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons.

When I read those passages and applied them to the context of Halloween, without the trappings of sentimentality I draped around the festivities, I could no longer look at it as harmless and innocent.  As I tried to salvage the fun bits and pieces floating among the muck and mire, I had to ask myself if they were really worth fishing out and cleaning off.  My answer was no, they're not.  Or to paraphrase a metaphor familiar to most Christians (eat the meat, spit out the bones), there's just too much bone to make that fish worth eating.

As for me and my house, we now choose to focus on other aspects of the fall season - and there are many causes for celebration during the next several weeks.  I am thankful I live in a democracy where I can practice my right to vote on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November, and help determine my country's leadership.  I am thankful for our veterans and try to honor them every day, but most especially I stop and remember their sacrifice each November 11.  And I am thankful for those who made the pilgrimage to this land nearly 400 years ago, enduring so much to gain the precious freedom to practice their faith.  Because of them, we live in the land of the free.

And as in all things, we are all free to choose where we stand in this matter, and I respect that the choice rests with each of us.  It is my simple hope that other Christians will reconsider this holiday and see there's nothing really happy or hallowed about it.

Happy weekend,